BACKSTORY

When I returned to NYC after establishing my sobriety, I began looking for positive activities that I could do whenever/wherever, were time consuming, and required a mindful approach.

After falling into a cast iron-seasoning wormhole, I started using cooking as a recovery tool. I found that prepping the ingredients demanded focus, precision, and meditative-like repetition. Late on a cold Friday night, when I was anxious and didn’t know what to do with myself, I decided to make meatloaf. Around midnight I was done and I was fulfilled - I accomplished something productive and staved off harmful coping responses. It felt so good.

I took some cooking classes by myself to improve my skills and found that the format was a great way to connect with others. In the back of my mind, Midnight Meetloaf began to germinate.

In March 2019, I made the knife you see here and named it “die Ausdauer” which in German means perseverance, patience, persistence, and more in that vein.

Making it took all of those things. I had to ask for help and then trust myself. I got frustrated and upset. I had to let go, realign, then resume. Make mistakes and find a way to fix them. 

Cooking is similar. Recovery is, too. Sobriety requires all sorts of structures, outlets, and support networks. Midnight Meetloaf is how I can share one of mine with you.

- Alex